Toilet Story

Chilling with Master Chief "Tut" is like watching the discovery channel...something to discover each day. Today, I discover the that some of our ladies at our floor have got appalling toilet habit. What I'm writing here was described to me by the Master Chief. Once she was pee peeing in the toilet, and as she turns to her left...sticking on the cubicle wall was a sanitary pad...awww. What the hell was this person thinking, nak buat statement ke?

This morning as Master Chief was about to go make her investment at the "tandas pompuan" bank, she noticed something perculiar about the cubicle as she swang open the door. Toilet bowl clean, floor clean...but the toilet seat at both sides have stain of...of...eeeww shit...GROSS. Immediately she lost the urge to lepas, now still sangkut inside her.

The culprit: 1) must have ceret beret, 2) did not sit on the toilet seat, 3) must have stained panties and 4) is a freaking mongoloid retard. How did I come to such a conclusion...hah...elementary. Let me explain;

1) Lets go for the easy one first, if she had sat on the toilet seat it would have gone straight down and not hit the side of the toilet seat. My guess is she was standing with her ass hovering about 6 inches above the toilet seat. Squatting on the toilet seat would break it.

2) Ceret beret...b'cos when the ceret beret shit comes outta your ass-hole its like a shot from a shot-gun, it spreads...that explain how the side of the seat is stained. This also support the theory that the culprit was standing. If she didn't ceret beret the shit would be in a straight line and hit the water with a "thuumb" and the sides would be clear...but thats not the case.

3) The floor was dry, so it means she didn't wash. See...for her to wash standing the floor would be wet. Since she was standing in the first place, she wouldn't be sitting to wash. Now that the seat is stained...lagi she won't sit. Therefore, she must have used toilet paper to wipe...eeewww...and you know using toilet paper is never clean one (see my earlier blog on "Cuci ke tak?").

4) Any normal human being would not have done this for the poor cleaner lady to cleanup and for the other toilet users to gross out, therefore...freaking mongoloid retard.

Why is it so difficult to lace the toilet seat with toilet paper and do business? Chances of anyone making a mess is rather remote...don't you think so. If you want to catch the culprit, go find the person with skid marks on the taifu.

Civilised thinking takes 1 light year backwards in the toilet. Capt says Au Revoir.