1 week old

It was an uneventful Thursday...had two meetings, the first was with IT the second one was with a "kepala concrete" fella. So "concrete" is his kepala that it took ages to get thru to him. Anyway, after the meeting I ventured to the "South Sea"...there lies the Kraken called "Amma". I would normally go there to teased "Tullu" kow kow & I get all charged up for work. But one need to be watchful as the kraken lurks there. I encountered the Kraken Amma last evening, she sooo sayang my fren "Tullu"...gave her "Psyllium Husk" to consume. It's suppose to detox and help relieve constipation. Tullu if you are reading this...you full of toxin ah?

Anyway, I was there talking with Tullu and in came "G-001"...she was walking a lil funny. Wassup!! we asked. "I cannot poo poo lah...1 week oredi" said G-001. FUYOH... 1 week. That is something. "Got see doctor ah" I asked. "Got, Doc gave me Senocot to help" was the reply. Next G-001 was jumping up and down, I think G-001 was thinking gravity might help do the trick...like lah that's going to help you poo. "Eat more fruits like prunes " I said. G-oo1 mentioned that once she had to get her mother to help her when she had constipation as it only came out halfway. "Halfway?? How did your mum help? Did she yanked it out for you?" I asked...ewww...I try not to imagine.

"Whatever you do, don't you fart...1 week of accummulated poo can be a killer...play far far if you wanna fart" I said. Hmmm...it got me thinking...if G-001 were to go to the toilet now will there be a "toommm" (sound of a hard piece of cement hitting water) and wet ceiling (air terpecik la). Moral of the story is drink lotz of H2O, eat plenty of fruits and exercise. Tullu give her some of your Psyllium Husk lah.

What is the sound of silence? Capt says Au Revoir.

Fool of a chinak

23 June 1800Hrs...somewhere in PJ

I was going to get a haircut, pegi my regular place tapi tutup. Since I hate my rambut to be sooo lebat I decided to go to the next shop...indian barber. Reminds me of my school days where I'm a regular to this indian barber in Brickfields. It brought back fond memories when I was a kid...some things shouldn't change. I was motioned to sit and I told the barber potong "petak". I like the "flat-top" haircut, macam the "Streetfighter" character "Guile"...only I'm more handsome lah.

The barber knew I was new in his kedai started small talk with me...more like trying to secure future business from me. "Dulu mana pegi potong rambut?" ask indian barber, "Mana mana pun ada, tak pegi satu tempat saja" I replied. "Lain kali mari sini potong lah" he responded. I simply nodded...don't like the idea of being hassled. But I got to hand it to you he took his time cutting my hair, I like that...and constantly asked me "boleh kah"...waahh customer service...he sure earned himself some brownie points. While he was working on my hair some customers walked in. I noticed an old chinese uncle about 60+ years walked in and sat down waiting for his turn.

I think he wanted to dye his hair black because he was holding this hair dye in his hand which was handed to him by the shop's "taukay barber". I was about finished and couldn't help listening to the conversation he had with "taukay barber". In his typical "chinak" accent he asked "Ini (the dye) bagus ah...siapa jual punya?". "Ada supplier india mari sini bagi supply" said taukay in his thick indian accent. To my horror the chinak replied "Ada baguskah...orang india pandai tipu"...how could you say such things you dumb uncle. I would expect you to be wiser at such an age, furthermore you say such things in an indian barber shop? Suddenly, I felt so embarrassed to be there as a fellow chinaman kin of mine made such an insensitive remark.

Well "taukay" wasn't pleased either, he remarked "Semua orang pun boleh tipu, bukan india saja. Awak kena tipu sebab awak bagi dia tipu...ape". Made sense lah what "taukay" said. The uncle just sat dowm smiling, good thing he shut-up. The dude who cut my hair wasn't too pleased either with that remark. I gave him RM50 and it was taking sooo long to get my change. In this time and age, we can still be insensitive about other races. It's understandable for an old uncle to still harbour some racist mentality...but it's sad...some things should change. I just hope the younger & future generation would be different. I got my change and "cabut"...play futsal.

Don't take too big a bite when eating the punani pie, else it's going to taste like shit. Capt says Au Revoir.

Sucker!!!

Funnily Tesco Puchong seems to be the place that is frequently mentioned on my blog. You don't just food there you get ideas to write too...hah. I was there last week, bought fish...suddenly "mengidam nak makan ikan". Got 2 pieces of "ikan tongsan" and to my surprise it was selling for RM1.88...cheap. So I bought another 2 pieces of "ikan senangin" and this totaled to RM5.45. Not bad I thought to myself 4 peices of "ikan" for less than RM10.

Next I made my way to get the "perencah kari asam Brahim's"...yup I wanna eat asam fish curry lah. Next on my list brinjal and tomato. Manage to get both and looked fresh too but...FUYOH the line to weigh your vege is soooo panjang...until "Chisel Stone" (Batu Pahat...la). What to do, "beratur" lor like everyone else. As, I was nearing my turn, I looked down and saw this two innocent eyes looking up at me. It was a kid about 8-9 years old. In his hand was just a bag of beans and he asked me in mandarin if he could queue in front of me...I looked back at the line it was until 'Singapore" now. I motioned him to stand in front of me out of pity...yes I know I was unfair to the rest of the people in the queue. But how could you say "No" to those eyes...kinda remind me of "Puss in Boots from Shrek 2"...you know what I mean.

So came to this little kid's turn to weight his bag of bean, he turn at the other direction and called out to his brother and along with their maid they brought a ton of stuff to weigh. "Punani of Punani" kena "Kantoi". So freaking thick skin and they work with flawless precision. They must have done this before...and I was the "sucker" for that day. I dare not turn and look at the crowd behind me, I was unfair to them and now a sucker, I felt sooo small. Then came my turn, quickly weigh my brinjal and tomato...and got outta there. You win this time kid, the Capt never forgets.

Goldfish makes good shashimi. Capt says Au Revoir.

Moan-day

Mon 22 June,

LDP 7+am

Not a very good start for a Monday morning, was stuck (as usual) at LDP. While crawling in the ludicrous jam I heard "Ah Choo"...I turned and saw this dude in a pick up truck beside my car "Ah Choo-ing"...all the noise from the highway and I could hear him sneeze. Hope its a bad case of sinus and not H1N1. As I was trying to inch my way forward this lady in a kancil just selamba eat into my lane...buat dunno. I just let her go not wanting to stress out first thing in the morning. Then Mr "Ah Choo" came along my side...next to my horror...as I looked over to his vehicle I saw he has his thumb cover one of his "lubang hidung" and he blew his nose. Aiiiieee...saw the "hingus" came outta his other "lubang hidung" and I think it landed on the front of or on my car....ewwww. The dude just selamba drove off. So freaking gross...SOB. Just pray its not H1N1, else anyone travelling along LDP-Federal Highway-KL is at risk b'coz Shit!!! I just became a potential super carrier of H1N1.

Office 8+am

Got out of the parking and making my way to the office I realised I forgot to bring my tag...sigh...I need to register myself at the guard counter and surrender my driving license. Turned-on my PC and made my way to the pantry...saw "Makcik" there who was about to have her breakfast. Huh..."Nasi Lemak" sold out (everyday "Jeb" dude would put breakfast for sale at the pantry)...so laku. The "Makcik" turned and asked me if I wanted to share he "roti mentega". I thanked her and declined, suddenly beyond my expectation she said "Oh thank god you didn't take my bread, else I got nothing to eat". I shot back at her "Why did you offer in the first palce if you never wanted to share...so insincere". Makcik with her "tebal muka" said "Oh I ajak-ajak ayam only"...such audacity. Responded to a friend's email by taking the BMI test...24.8 slighly over-weight it says. WTF, I play futsal every week and the computer says I'm slightly over-weight.

Office 9+am

Things began to settle down hope all is well until the day ends. Catch rate on mousehunt was pretty good...is this the silver lining? I hope so, else I would have to "mandi" flower liao.

You can't say "P****", but you can say "PUNANI". Capt says Au Revoir.

Ron for Real

Ronaldo the faggoty drama queen is leaving Man Utd for Real Madrid...Yay!! I don't have to see his face next season. Another good thing, my fantasy football competitor would not have him in their team any longer...imagine making him captain and he scores...kow kow points they would get.

Imagine paying 80 million pounds for him...seow I tell you...he ain't worth it. Anyway don't care what he do lah...I won't see him next season.

The 1 eye jack is king in the land of the blind. Capt says Au Revoir.

Love thy neighbour

I would like to think that our country's relationship with Indonesia is close and strong. However, maybe because of this closeness we take each other for granted. We start taking pot shots at one another without any consideration on how this is going to reflect us on the world arena and the impact on our so called close and strong relationship. Within a span of 2 week I can see in the media how poorly behaved we have been.

1st case: Manohara Odelia Pinot.
Indonesian model claimed that she was raped and tortured by husband. Now a medical examination confirms that it was true. Shame shame shame. Rape, torture and abused...have we flushed down civilised mentality down the toilet in Malaysia? Does being in a certain class in society allows you to thump over others?

2nd case: Abused maid.
It was reported yesterday a maid sought protection from the Indonesia embassy as her boss (a single mother) abused her and held her wages of 5 years. Are we treating maids like slaves? Aren't they human with feelings just like us? Just because we pay their wages doesn't mean it gives us the right to beat them and do as we pleased. I've seen many a times how maids are treated, they seem to work round the clock...no rest. Even the smallest of task is also given to the maid. Try switching places for a change...do onto others what you want others to do onto you. Maid abuse...this is not the 1st in Malaysia.

3rd case: Ambalat.
Fighting over oil. We seem to have provoked our neighbours countless times. Just get our borders fixed and agreed upon lah. Let the International Court of Justice decide if we can't. Susah susah patrol into disputed waters and almost got fired upon. Is war what we want?

There is no 2nd chance to 1st impression. Capt says Au Revoir.

Psyhic...konon

Finally, it is good to be back blogging...thanks to "Hacker". I was out makaning celebrating my mom's birthday last weekend at this seafood restaurant. Ordered 5-6 dishes...so so only la. I not really into chinese cuisine unlike my siblings. So I let them do the ordering while I concentrate on makaning.

So after habis makan, I called for the bill. As they were processing the bill a platter of fruits came...hmm papaya and jelly covered with ice. How nice...dessert compliments from the restaurant...now thats what I call service. My bro macam psyhic mentioned the bill would be above RM100. I was surprise...how you know ah? He mentioned by looking at the dessert platter he knows.

Powderful man...I know people look at tea-leaves to tell ones future but my adik look at fruit platter can tell you agak agak how much it cost. The bill came it was RM124.10. My adik says, if they serve jelly with fruits its above RM100. If no jelly just fruits it's below Rm100. If dessert comes with mangoes then its above Rm180. Cheh...I tot he was psyhic...pegi dah. Rupa rupanya he has been dining at restaurant cina more than me that he was aware of such subtleties. As for me, if you gimme free fruits I eat first lor. Come to think of it, I know this famous seafood place near a certain roundabout in PJ but never serve fruits leh. Twice we makan there and the bill was near RM200...but no fruits leh...bayang pun tak nampak. Maybe famous liao..."lan si" oredi.
Hmm...if they serve durian on the fruit platter...I tell you your pocket burn a big hole liao.

I'll give you my treasure chest if you can show me shit that smells like fresh baked bread. Capt says Au Revoir.

4 June, Captain's log...

I'm baaacccck. Accessing this blog via backdoor...caya to "Tom-cat". As of today, he shall be known as "Hacker" for reasons I cannot mention here. Nanti the spy spy bocor rahsia then susah. "Hacker' if you are reading this you know what I mean.

Finally, I feel fine once again having being able to use "muka-buku" and "blogging". Almost went mad, manage to play mousehunt...made it to Master...woohoo. Caught some powderful maus...yeah! Now that I got backdoor, I'll wait for inspirasi to hit me for my next update...till then sit tight.

I like to move it move it...Capt says Au Revoir.

I'll be back...wait ah!

Bummer...my operations has be disrupted by the evil evil IT people. They have since barred "Muka-Buku" and all blogs. My spies mentioned that it was due to some dude who was downloading movies and that how it got a messed up. Phew...for a moment I though I was the culprit. But no fear Tom-cat has found a way...maxis broadband (MBB)...wah ha ha ha...that kid is a genius (how do you think I get to put this on the blog). Kudos to Tom-cat...muakks.

Mua ha ha...I manage to secure a spare notebook and its hooked up with MBB. By this week it will be business as usual. Till then, the pirate will return.

You can knock Capt Jack Pipit off balance, but you can't keep him down. Capt says Au Revoir.